We can be going along in our everyday lives, thinking that we are on track and everyone and everything is going well and all of a sudden things change. We lose our job or we gain a promotion. We get married or we get divorced. We go on maternity leave or we reduce our hours of work and therefore our income. We did have very definite plans we were aiming towards and then we are hit with a life changing situation and the way forward is not so clear anymore.
Life sometimes has a way of getting in the way of our plans and what we once were working towards no longer seems like the desired destination anymore or if it is – it just doesn’t even seem to be possible.
Have you ever seen one of those toys – usually a clown half balancing on a ball and when you hit it , it wobbles for a while and then re gains it’s balance and can stand motionless again until it is hit again and wobbles again and dependent upon how hard it’s hit , depends on how quickly it regains its balance. Well that’s what I think about when I see people hit with small to major changes in their lives.
When things like that happen you need to give yourself permission to regain your balance. It’s OK to feel like you have been ” knocked for six” . Sometimes there are tell tale signs that will warn us that change is on the way. Other times we have no idea and its usually when we haven’t seen it coming that we get hit the hardest. Don’t be too hard on yourself – take the time you need and then let me give you my formula to help you “Tackle” the problem head on so you can regain your balance and not get stuck in crisis mode.
My T.A.C.K.L.E formula:
T – Take Stock
What does this change mean? Do I have to change my location, my spending habits, my time management. What does my new situation really look like. If it was a negative change that took place – Is it as bad as I first thought?
A– Adapt or Alter
Be prepared to adapt to the new changes and make the best of them or if you don’t like them alter them. Sometimes all it takes is a mindset shift but sometimes it takes a complete change in the way you do things
C – Create a new plan
Once you’ve worked out your new position and if you’re happy with it then its time to start making your plans. Plans for improvement or plans to stabilise. This step may take a while because you may need to try a few different ways to see a result but keep persevering or ask for help from a trusted friend, counsellor or coach.
K – Kiss the old plan goodbye
If things have changed beyond all recognition you really need to let the old plans go and make new ones because by holding on to the old we can stop ourselves moving forward “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one”
L – launch into the new
It’s going to take courage but you have a whole new beginning in front of you and its time to make the most of your new situation
E – enjoy your new life
And most of all find enjoyment in your new experience – I know that may seem difficult if the change has been life threatening but you often do hear people talk about a new appreciation of life after some traumatic experience has taken place. You will never be able to experience that if you are too busy focusing on the bad.
So to all those who have been coping with changes over these last few months – Get Tackling!!